Victory Poses?
by IraOphelia
Summary: "Roxas, you ever wonder what it will be like to have a heart again?" An AxelxRoxas oneshot.


Hi readers!  
I'm a little bit new to the KH fandom, so please review if you think I got something really wrong or really right! I appreciate all of your comments. :D  
I've always really loved this pairing, so enjoy.

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Victory Poses?

Everyone says Nobodies don't have hearts. We will never feel emotions again. We are destined to be entirely numb, with just the remnants of what it was like to feel. I had no reason to disbelieve this. I acted just as they predicted: selfishly, single-mindedly, uninhibited from the tethers of a heart. It didn't bother me, at least for a while. I was ready to accept this nonexistence without any delusions. I was ready for a meaningless descent into complete nothingness.

But for some reason, it just couldn't be that easy. I had to meet _him._ He had to become my best friend. Without even trying, he made me feel like... Like there might actually be something in my chest.

I let out a long sigh; I did not usually get so introspective. However, I was a little bit glum, or as much as a nonfeeling being could be. I had decided to take a stroll around the castle to clear my head. Tonight, instead of finding the usual silent and calming halls, I found him.

"Roxas?"

The blonde looked up from his seat on the floor.

"Oh, hey Axel." He said with the small smile of his. He always smiled as if it hurt too much to move his face out of frown.

"Thought you were on guard duty," I took a seat beside him and crossed my slender legs in front of me. Roxas rubbed the back of his head.

"I was, until I got turned around a few halls ago. I'm glad you found me, and not Larxene or someone. I'd never hear the end of it..."

I could not help letting a little bark of laugher escape my lips. Roxas immediately flushed. He turned to glare at me, his expressions combination of mock betrayal and genuine embarrassment.

"Don't get your coat in a twist. I've skipped my guard duty hundreds of times." I added with a smirk.

"But I didn't-" Roxas protested. He glanced pleadingly at my face. Once he took in my crooked smile and my poorly suppressed laughter, his perpetually tense shoulders relaxed a bit. Experimentally, Roxas mimicked my expression.

"I suppose I didn't hide it very well. Don't rat me out, okay?" Roxas added with a small smirk on his face.

I breathed sharply. There it was again, that feeling in my chest...

"Wait, I know something that will make this better." Roxas stood up and, taking care to step over my legs, hurried off down the hall. He was gone long enough to have legitimately gotten lost. Yet, right before I prepared to look for him, he poked his blonde head around the corner. Looking proud, he held out two melting sea salt ice cream bars.

"Now it's a party." I laughed. I dug into my ice cream ravenously. Roxas followed suit, taking his place at my side. In the silence, my thoughts wandered back to hearts.

"Roxas," I said. He hummed to show he was listening.

"You ever wonder what it will be like to have a heart again?"

"What?" Roxas swallowed and turned his blue eyes to me.

"I know we can never really know; I've got that memorized." I hastily added. Roxas did not seem to notice my hurried equivocation.

"Sure, I've thought about it," he said it so plainly and honestly I almost choked on ice cream. I could not help feeling a heat in my neck.

"Would you want one back, just like that?" Roxas added innocently. I floundered in the silence that followed, unbeknownst to Roxas. He blinked up at me, expecting a coherent answer.

"Uh, sure, they weren't too heavy, right?"

"I would want one back, as long as..." Roxas trailed off, gazing into his melting ice cream.

"As what?" It was my turn to demand an answer.

"As long as, I could always remember what it was like when I didn't have one. That way, I wouldn't take it for granted."

"Maybe they're too overrated," I tried to laugh, but could not. We were silent again. I avoided looking at him. Sometimes, I got the feeling that his blue eyes could see right through me. It was like he could read my innermost thoughts as plainly as if they were written a clean white page. I did not need him to see anything I was thinking about tonight.

"What feeling do you miss the most?" Roxas asked thoughtfully. I pondered his question for a moment.

"You've got me stumped, kid. It's just been too long." I lied. I knew exactly which feeling I missed the most.

It was that feeling when you first wake up. Even in the low light, you can make out the person still sleeping next to you and all you want to do is pounce on them and kiss them until they wake up.

It is the sound of their laughter, when you can finally pull them into your arms after you thought you might die from missing them.

It is the press of their skin against yours, when you can't tell where you begin and they end.

It is when you fall in love with your best friend and you know there could not possibly be a luckier person in the entire universe than you.

I just could not admit that to Roxas, he'd surely figure me out.

"What?! One thing you don't have memorized?" Roxas smiled lopsidedly. I shrugged, forcing myself not to blush.

Ugh, _my chest again…_

"Of course, I figured you were too cynical." A faraway look came into his blue eyes, "But I know which one I miss. Do you remember that feeling, after all the activity of the day has died down, when you cannot help looking around at everyone to take in every miniscule part of the moment? And you just feel like you couldn't be any happier, even if you tried."

"I think that's blissful." I interjected. Roxas's expression was still far off. I could tell he was thinking back to all of his immeasurably happy times. I hoped that at least one of those memories had me in it.

"Yeah," Roxas leaned back, "I think that's it." We lapsed back into a contemplative silence. I slurped up the last remains of my ice cream bar and stood up definitively.

"I'll let you get back to guard duty." I stretched my arms over my head. If I stayed any longer, I may say something I would regret.

"Hey Axel," Roxas looked up at me. I stopped, captured by those innocently inescapable blue eyes, "Sometimes, I-"

We were cut off by the sounds of footsteps. An irritated voice called, "Roxas? You better stop hiding and get back to work…!"

Roxas let out a groan, "Shit! It's Larxene! Axel, you've got to help me!"

"What's the magic word?" I teased. The footsteps were growing closer.

"Axel," Roxas rolled his eyes and frowned. I shook my head and urged him to say more. He glared at me, but the ever-approaching footsteps caught his attention. With clenched fists, he let out a defeated sigh.

"Please." Roxas growled; his eyes full of both panic and irritation. If I had a heart, he would be too cute to handle.

"Okay, let me handle this." In a fluid motion, I jumped in front of Roxas. I spread out my limbs, letting my coat billow around me and totally cover where Roxas was sitting on the floor. Just as he was comfortably hidden, Larxene turned the corner.

"Axel," She started to say, but as she looked over the whole scene, her eyebrows knitted together.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Ah Larxene, you're as eloquent as always. I'm just practicing my victory poses." I lifted my foot higher into the air and gestured with one hand, while I lifted the side of my coat with the other.

"You look like an idiot." She placed a gloved hand on her hip, "While you were busy being stupid, did you see Roxas?"

"Nope, haven't seen him." I replied. Even as I spoke, I was acutely aware of his presence behind me. In fact, we were almost touching… My neck felt hot again, and I almost lost my balance. My expression must have changed, because Larxene eyed my questioningly.

"You really are a moron," She turned on her heel, with a disdaining look still on her face, "Let me know if you see Roxas."

"Got it." I saluted her.

Once her footsteps disappeared down the hall, I collapsed onto the ground. I met Roxas's eyes and his face spread into a huge smile.

"Victory poses?" Roxas sniggered.

"Hey, you try coming up with a better diversion," I argued, but before I could say more, Roxas started to laugh. It started out as a snicker but grew into the infectious boisterous kind of laugh that you cannot help but join in. I wished that I could always be the reason he laughed like this.

Roxas collapsed onto my knees and then looked up at me with a large smile still on his face. I was simultaneously compelled to lean towards him, but also to pull away.

"Thanks Axel." I swallowed hard and chose to put some distance between us. We both stood. Roxas started to walk away and without thinking, I caught the fabric of his sleeve.

"Were you going to say something before Larxene showed up?" I asked, instantly regretting bringing it up.

"Oh," Roxas flushed. After a moment's hesitation, he quickly answered my question, "I was just going to say, sometimes, I think I feel _blissful_ with you. So I don't really feel like I am missing that much." Roxas tried not to look at me. Yet, when he turned his face toward mine, he had another smile on his face. I wished that I could always see him smile like this: innocent, unguarded, even a little bit reckless.

"Thanks again for the save, I owe you one." Roxas patted me on the shoulder, before walking casually away.

"No problem." I muttered. I continued to speak even though he had disappeared down the hall.

"Thought you should know though, sometimes, I think I'm in love with you. And getting to see you makes not having a heart entirely worth it."


End file.
